Case No. 001 — Filed Under: Obviously
NopeNopeNope!
IT ABSOLUTELY IS CHRIS'S FAULT.
One sentence. Zero accountability. Scroll for the same verdict, remixed eight ways.
↓ Keep scrolling. The ruling does not change.
Style 01 — Neon Sign
It's Chris's
Fault
Open 24 hours. The verdict hums louder after midnight.
Style 02 — Retro Poster
By order of the committee
It's Chris's Fault
★ Certified · Notarized · Laminated ★
Printed in one color because the truth only needs one.
Style 03 — Sticky Note
It's Chris's fault.
(again)
left by: not me
at: 7:41am, on the fridge
Found stuck to the coffee machine. Nobody has removed it.
Style 04 — Terminal
$ blame --who --everything
> scanning 1,204 incidents ......... done
> cross-referencing alibis ......... done
VERDICT: IT'S CHRIS'S FAULT
confidence: 99.7%
appeal: DENIED
█Ran it twice with a clean cache. Same output, ruder tone.
Style 05 — Glitch
It's Chris's Fault
SIGNAL CORRUPTED — the only line that survived transmission.
Style 06 — Editorial
“It's Chris's fault. A masterwork of misplaced confidence.”
Four stars. Would be five, but Chris misplaced the fifth.
Style 07 — Comic Pop
It's Chris's Fault!!
Kapow! Issue #08
Approved by the Comics Code Authority of Absolutely Not My Problem.
Style 08 — Aurora
And in the end, softly,
it was still Chris's fault.
Somewhere above the treeline, the sky agrees with us. Placeholder poetry ends here.